I was always the tallest. Through elementary and middle school and even beginning high school, I
towered. As a child I was incredibly clumsy, constantly running into poles and tripping over cracks
on the sidewalk, I still am. As I grew up I became more conscious of these things, I felt like they
made me stick out, and not in a good way. I felt uncomfortable being taller than all my friends, taller
than all the boys, because it made me feel like a giant, gargantuan. Although in reality, the difference
was not that great, I always wanted to be shorter, be smaller, be less all over the place. As I became
older I naturally became less clumsy and many people around me physically grew. However, this
sense of feeling too big- physically and emotionally- has stayed with me in various ways. Although I
never experienced external forces verbally telling me to be smaller, to take up less space, these ideas
are perpetrated through media, social conditioning, and beauty standards– and some young girls are
verbally instructed, sometimes forced, to abide by this. Beginning in girlhood, women are constantly
and consistently encouraged to be smaller, physically and in terms of their emotional expression,
always encouraged to make space for others. This causes them to retract, shrink, and be less, so
naturally a void forms. That void is often filled by men, who are encouraged, from childhood, to be
big, tall, strong, loud, and speak their minds. This initially manifests itself in classrooms; boys raise
their hands in class more, and speak out more, dominating the space. This begins conditioning girls
to step back, to allow boys to take the foreground. As girls grow up they become more aware of
beauty standards; they are encouraged and taught to want to be thin. They are told to work out to
achieve this, but to never lift weights for fear of becoming “bulky”. They can be strong, but not
strong enough that it shows since it might potentially make them appear larger. Women are made
fun of for being taller than their boyfriends, made to feel as though a man must always be bigger
than her, be stronger than her. Women are conditioned to be incredibly conscious of the space they
occupy, making sure they share the spotlight and don't make another person feel threatened.
Women, beginning from childhood, should be taught to demand space to express themselves, and to
exist, physically, intellectually, and emotionally, in the largest capacity possible. They must always feel
as though they are equally deserving of this time, space, and energy as any other person. This will
allow women to be comfortable with power, supported in their efforts to become bigger, greater
forms of themselves. If every little girl feels safe and encouraged to take up space, the world will
benefit from more ideas, more energy, and more leg room.